A test of the emergency response system.

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A test of the emergency response system.

Post by Diminished Heathen on Wed May 07, 2014 8:49 am

I have a problem. That being said, It's a sort of addiction. A relatively light-hearted addiction, but an addiction nonetheless. an addiction that lets me empathize with the most disgraceful drug addict in some ways; I know I have a problem, and I laugh (and cry, on some nights) at the idea of stopping the addiction. My addiction is just as detrimental to me financially, as well as a strain to my IRL relationships. My drug of choice? Median XL Ulti.

I played the game way back when Marco was just a wee little lass, and Brother Laz was the Dungeon Master. And I vaguely recall first playing the game. The room FILLED with sounds such as "CLICK CLICK CLICK CLACK" and "Wow son, this game is choice!" (Yes, my internal monologue is straight swag, yolo). And since then, nothing has captured the beauty of cheeto stained fingers, and a firm clench of the cheeks to avoid wasting time in the bathroom.

Why does it affect me financially, you ask? Because I happened to move 3000 miles to the other side of the country and quit my job (fo real son), and I refuse to fill my managerial resume with anything but the direct command of many Rampagers and Shadows. I refuse to slander it with anything but my collection of "I am rich" gems (When one day I actually make one, that is). In an interview, I directly say I will take forms of payment strictly in no-strings-attached Median playing time (fuck rent), and that none of my minions will ever go without full magic and elemental immunity (Then I challenge them to a duel to the death IRL) (actually, jk I'm kinda a wimp). And when I should be looking for a job, I just keep a tab open from a staffing agency, and alt tab when someone walks by, saying "Man, there aren't any jobs in this state!".

I've seriously compromised my personal relationship with my girlfriend, but you can't blame her when all i'm thinking about during sex is "I hope she hurry's up and finishes soon, this shiz kinda boring mon" and promptly return to the game when she finally does finish (And was thinking about ANYONE BUT ME to get off with). And I honestly feel no shame turning to her, cheetos caught in my pearly orange, goofy grin, and asking her to bring me a mountain dew (love that shit, no matter what stigma it gives me) (No, it doesn't make your semen less potent, a=hole) (Don't look that up, I actually don't know if it does or not) ( parenthesis). I'm actually surprised I wrote this much, brb gonna go fap to a lvl up.

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Re: A test of the emergency response system.

Post by Metalistas on Wed May 07, 2014 9:11 am

Cool story bro.

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Re: A test of the emergency response system.

Post by Diminished Heathen on Wed May 07, 2014 9:20 am

Cool story as in "wow, I enjoyed that story!"?

Or like when a child who isn't yours tells you about how fast he can run?

Because either will still make this post worthwhile to me.

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Re: A test of the emergency response system.

Post by Metalistas on Wed May 07, 2014 9:55 am

As in:

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Re: A test of the emergency response system.

Post by taem on Wed May 07, 2014 8:12 pm

You've got a problem bro. Your problem is you aren't playing mxl... hard enough!!! Until you lose all vestiges of hope regarding sleep, not even being able to tell reality from a dream, and are surviving off leftover crumbs in your carpet for far itll remove valuable seconds away from your game time, until your every thought bent on d2, you have not really lived! And until you live, you will never fully comprehend what you are missing in the real world, and only then can you look back at life and say to yourself, "I have truly lived, and would be content to die," at which point you may give up your diablo life for something else.

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Re: A test of the emergency response system.

Post by Diminished Heathen on Wed May 07, 2014 8:33 pm

@taem wrote:You've got a problem bro. Your problem is you aren't playing mxl... hard enough!!! Until you lose all vestiges of hope regarding sleep, not even being able to tell reality from a dream, and are surviving off leftover crumbs in your carpet for far itll remove valuable seconds away from your game time, until your every thought bent on d2, you have not really lived! And until you live, you will never fully comprehend what you are missing in the real world, and only then can you look back at life and say to yourself, "I have truly lived, and would be content to die," at which point you may give up your diablo life for something else.

Then my path is clear. To gain that of which was lost, I must let go. Stop fighting the transformation, and instead embrace the power of life it bestows upon me, until it has nothing left to teach me.

May your wisdom never go unnoticed.

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Re: A test of the emergency response system.

Post by Aspirine101 on Wed May 07, 2014 9:24 pm

ok so:

need money? rob bank
gf wasting too much time? dump her away in your nearby trash can

if police comes cut wrists, you'll be reborn as summoner nec

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Re: A test of the emergency response system.

Post by Thall on Thu May 08, 2014 1:05 am

I don't know weather to slam my head into my desk repeatedly or laugh uncontrollably at this horror of an OP.

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Re: A test of the emergency response system.

Post by whist on Thu May 08, 2014 3:47 am

Dear diary, today OP was more no-lifer than me.

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Re: A test of the emergency response system.

Post by GregMXL on Thu May 08, 2014 2:16 pm

Nice Median game related general discussion. I took two dumps yesterday as opposed to the normal one I usually take at around 11am my time every day.

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